American Pai

With the first week of training over and a few of the fighters leaving, the big boss was kind enough to bring us all to the local Thai buffet. For those who have never been, a Thai buffet consists of a large pot where everyone at the table puts in various slices of meat, veg and so on, enjoying the food and making a delicious broth in the process and everyone keeps putting in and taking out until we are all quite stuffed. It's quite an intimate affair, with everyone filling each others glass and bowl.
Anyway, my plan to hide down the back and enjoy the doss with the aid of a few beers was scuppered when I bumped into Mr. B and I turned up a bit late. Long story short, I was sat beside the local Mafia boss and his impossibly good looking girlfriend. So I got to walk the tightrope that is being charming enough to a gangsters moll so no-one thinks I am disrespecting her, but not so charming that I am awarded a new pair of cement boots. The words ‘best’ and ‘behaviour’ raced around my head for the whole night. As did the expression, ‘gangland style execution’ and ‘headless corpse found in river’. Needless to say I was delighted when they decided to call it a night.
The same week saw the arrival of two pals to Chiang Mai. Gavin me old Pal from Dublin and Jenny, a girl I used to box with back in the dodgy old lock up in Mountjoy square. Largely because of Jenny’s enthusiasm I got right into the training and have been there ever since. We had decided before that we would check out Gav’s gym and so we went up to Pai to have a look.
The road to Pai is in two parts. One is a motorway. The other puts the ring of Kerry to shame. We went through 100 km of up-and-down and round-and-round, and in some places non-existent, road and we were down to the fumes in the tank of our 100cc automatic moped. The whole thing took about 5 hours and my ass felt like it had gone 15 rounds with Tyson. Or his cellmate.
Pai is a lovely little town, which would be heaven on earth if it had a beach. And a tower, from which snipers worked in shifts, to shoot all the hippies. God almighty I have never met a more pretentious bunch of emotionally needy feckers in my life. It’s almost like there’s a competition to see who can be the most laid back, painfully eclectic wierdo in the locale. Fortunately, the gym had a lovely bunch of people in it, so that kind of made it ok. Emphasis on the kind of. As for training, I have never had anything like it. World class doesn't cover it. I am almost reluctant to talk it up so that I can keep the trainers to myself. The training really is that good. It’s the most technique orientated gym I’ve ever been to. If I could fault it, it’s that there isn’t much emphasis on cardio and I definitely noticed the difference it made. This gym has quite a structured class, so conditioning really has to be done beforehand by you. But hey, no one said it was going to be easy.
Despite its small size I did find it hard to negotiate my way around Pai, but eventually I started to recognize the odd place. We were staying with a friend of ours in a house, that for reasons that are beyond the scope of modern science, was built in a mangrove. The insects are naming it an official holiday after the feast of Irish blood that was laid on for them.
All too soon it was Thursday and time to head back to Chiang Mai. This time I flew solo as Jenny took the bus and, to my eternal delight, all the luggage, so I got to drive the most challenging road, with the most beautiful scenery I’ve ever seen. I hummed Steppenwolf all the way. On my Honda Click. Oh, the shame.